What's in a name

This year I began a new part time teaching position at a local college teaching biology.  I've taught the class before at the same school a few years ago.  The first time I taught the class I had several students from Hong Kong, and I do this term as well.  Chinese students like to take American names while they are here.  Given that Americans have a terrible time with pronunciation and have no inkling of the proper use of tone in the Chinese language, it makes sense for Chinese students to use American names.

Some of the names they come up with though, are beyond me.  One particular duo that I recall from a few years back were called Gordon and Wallace.  Gordon and Wallace were joined at the hip- they went everywhere together, and at times I wondered if it was one brain controlling two bodies.  Even simple one-person tasks in the laboratory were evenly divided by the two.  (One would hold the flask, while the other poured).  The boys were a bit limited in their understanding of the English language though, which is common.  I recall having to pull the micro pipette out of Gordon's hand as he was about to draw up fluid into it without a pipette tip.  I explained.  Wallace attempted to translate.

I had forgotten about Gordan and Wallace until this year.  I had a new student whose Chinese name I listened to very carefully.  When he repeated it I said it back to him very slowly and was careful to get the exact intonation.  Finally he said,  "Never mind!  I want to be called Angus!"  Stifled laughter resonated around the room.  I wasn't going to argue with him, but I vowed to practice saying his Chinese name to make sure I had it correct when I saw him at the next class.  The class didn't finish though without me being introduced to his classmate, "Billy."

A week later, Billy and Angus, now joined at the hip, sat in the back of the class speaking to one another in Chinese.  I called out Angus' Chinese name and he immediately corrected me.  "No", he said politely, "it's Angus!"  I gave up.  Who knows what I actually said.  In Mandarin the word "Ma" can mean 4 different things, depending on the tone that's used.  Maybe when I pronounced his name incorrectly I said something offensive.  Anyway, now as I call out for Billy and Angus at the beginning of class each week, I keep looking up expecting to see some good-'ole'-boys wearing denim overalls with no T-shirts underneath sitting at the back of the class chewing tobacco.  Instead, I find two nice young men from Hong Kong.  Where they got their names, again, is beyond me.  Maybe they were paired with an American roommate who gave them the idea, thinking it would be funny. 

But like Gordon and Wallace, Billy and Angus are here from across the world to learn about biology.  And it's my job to teach them.