For all of you good husbands out there, take some good advice from mine, who learned a valuable lesson in marriage the other day. Never, I mean absolutely never, buy Halloween candy any earlier than the day before Halloween and expect it to still be available for hopeful trick-or-treaters on Halloween night. To do so is futile. Your wife will consume every last candy morsel to depletion. And the more children you and your wife have, the faster she'll consume it. OK, it's possible that there might be a few of those little peppermint drops and dum-dum lollipops left, but the rest will be history. And if you make the mistake of buying chocolate, expect the bag to be ripped into the day you bring it home, and half the bag emptied within two days.
So gentlemen, if you have the urge for early holiday shopping, save it for Christmas. Last minute Halloween shopping is essential for a successful Halloween and happy neighborhood children. Hence, it's imperative that you do not take this warning lightly: Any attempt to bring home premature Halloween candy could ultimately result in your house being TP'd or your mail box destroyed. Pass it on to your friends.
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